I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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