So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
