I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
