where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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