He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize