I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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