so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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