yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
