Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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