Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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