my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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