airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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