White coat. Heels.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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