i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
