just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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