i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
