you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
