I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
