Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
