Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
