The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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