i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Terrible idea I love it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
