Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
