Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
