I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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