So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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