I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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