The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
