my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Pooping to opera.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
