Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
