theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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