you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize