Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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