bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
