so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
