I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
