The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
