My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
