just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
