This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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