Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
