he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
