found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
