thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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