turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize