I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
