It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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