So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
