I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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