Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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