It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
