weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
