Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
