Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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