all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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