we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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