Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
