Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
