I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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