I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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