so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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